waving my legs at the edge of roof

I believe that almost everybody has this moment at their life when there were thinking:
- jump, or not jump
Unfortunately at the moment of our born we didn't get an instructions from God saying:" that would be the right thing to do at this moment of your life, don't worry cause everything going be all right.. "
-well yeah, sure.. so what am I doing here?
How I suppose to know what is a right and what is a wrong thing? I feel like the older I'm getting the more my life getting tangled.. Maybe if we would have simply life, like ppl in Africa, when they are just trying to survive until another day, making just things what they need.. not be able to read and so they don't really know which diet is good or what kind of clothes are on top this summer.. hmm I guess at this point of my life I'm not dreaming about moving now to afrika and live like aborigines.. probably I wouldn't survive long there dieing from some weird sickness..

well, I don't know what is my point.. I just DON"T KNOW.. I'm lost, don't know what to do next : jump or not jump".

gamble my life?

or just follow what other says, follow tradition, listen to older" because they lived long enough so they know the best, even if they didn't move their nose behind their door"?

The more drama in my life the more I'm getting closed for outside.. I have lovely bf, but whenever I want to tell him what is bothering me I just have this block inside me. Before there was no problem about it.. So i guess first I need to help myself somehow and then I could move on with .. but for now I'm not even honest with myself and so I would have to start from here.. writing over here so I can put all my thoughts out and figure it what the fuck is the problem? where did I get lost and what I would need to do to jump over to my right path